Love has gravity.

When an object falls (in most cases), it’s either will break into pieces, retain it’s composition, or just be deformed; depending on what surface it’ll fall. (e.g. when an object fell on a soft surface like a foam, then it’ll retain its composition). In falling, you can’t defy gravity. Just like in love. It’s free fall. Falling in love will not only guarantee you a bad/hard fall but also a good/nice one. Because it’s either you get hurt or not. It also depends on who you’ll fall for. That’s why love is a risk. You have a 50-50 chance of either getting hurt or not.

Tomorrow will come sooner or later. . .

It gets to a point where she feels like she's done with me. Where the relationship is hitting its expiration date. Where she thinks its time to move on. I don't want that. And the question is why? Why can't i let this girl go? It's hard to explain why because you would have to experience the same feeling i have for this girl. Once you meet the girl who changed you for the better. Who you would take on the world for. The girl who controls your breathing when she is near you or not. The girl who makes your heart skip a beat just by holding your hand. You'll understand why i don't want her to go through with what she is thinking. What she is thinking is just an idea that gets her curious to see what would happen. What would happen if she didn't have me. That "if" question comes into place. I love this girl. And all i want is a tomorrow. A tomorrow where I'll wake up and she'll still be there. Don't go and don't leave me. The thought i have in my head is an if too. And it is "If i wake up tomorrow, Will she still be here to make my heart skip a beat, to take my breath away, and to make my mind go crazy?" That's my if thought and i hope she understands that she means more to me than anything in the world. She's amazing to me. Ever since day one of September 18, 2009, she's been surprising me with reasons of why she is so amazing and why i can't let her slip through my fingers. I am going to make sure that she sees the reasons why she can't let me go too. That will take time and when she gets it, her "if" thought will be the same as mine. Tomorrow is going to come, sooner or later.

Hope. . .

Hope is one-sided. You can hope all you want but in the end, it's going to mess you up. Things don't go your way. It never does. I feel so hopeless now. We spend less and less time with each other now. It hurts every second. She doesnt even stop to ask whats wrong when you really did point out that something was wrong. Love is hopeless now. Basically she doesnt care about anything anymore to even ask or to even try to resolve. That's how you know that she definitely is done with you and all hope is gone. Life never meets its expectations. Girls, when something is wrong, its suppose to be the guys job to come and hold you and show you care. Ever think that the other way around is possible too? Why not? Maybe sometimes a guy just wants a little appreciation. A little hope to know that you'd be there for them too. It sucks when you do so much for a girl and you dont get much back. Sometimes i wish there was a button where when you click it, the other person will feel the same. Crushed and hurt right now but she doesnt seem to care or open her eyes at all. I texted her goodnight and sweetdreams all of a sudden cuz i couldnt deal with what she was doing anymore. And she responded with a, "Really. Okay. Goodnite." Pathetic. Really? Thats her caring right there guys. I might wanted to just end the night early but deep down, i was hoping for her to say no, whats wrong? Let's keep talking. Instead she sends no reassurance. Goddam. Hopeless love right here. It really sucks. Like there's a hole in my heart. . . .

Why i love you . . .

Why do I love you? Why do I still want to keep going on even though we have been going through so much?

Here's Why:

List of 70 Reasons Why I Love You

1. You're always there for me

2. You love me for who I am

3. When I'm sad, you take the pain away

4. You still play Uno and 13 with me even when you suck

5. You introduced me to a whole new genre of movies : Chick Flicks

6. You never give up to prove your point

7. You are always honest to me

8. You teach me stuff about fashion

9. You give in to me begging you to make time to hang out with me

10. How you always stand up for what you believe in (Churchy)

11. You're so nice to my parents even though you don't like the stuff they give you

12. You text me back no matter how jerky I am

13. You always support me even when I couldn't support myself

14. When you hurt me, you flinch and say I'm Sorry over and over again

15. You play with my hair

16. You still lay next to me even when I am snoring loud

17. You make me very crafty stuff

18. You are always understanding

19. You listen to me even when you don't care about it

20. You get scared when you try to kill a spider

21. You copy me in what I say such as GROW UP

22. You always say I dress nice even when it's ugly

23. You like songs and know the lyrics to them but you're to scared to recite them

24. You always fix your hair and you get all paranoid if it's messed up

25. How you always help me when I need or ask you to and sometimes even when I don’t ask

26. You buy me things out of the blue

27. You actually hold my hand when I reach for it

28. How you won't let me touch your feet

29. How much you’ve taught me about life and myself

30. You are so smart even though you doubt it

31. You close your eyes when I kiss you

32. How your heart beats faster when I'm near you

33. How you need me to fix your laptop after you get a virus from clicking yes to a Million dollar scam

34. You are so nice to your parents

35. You are good with kids, I think

36. You try to speak Vietnamese to my parents even though you can't

37. Your vanilla smell that you have on you

38. Your incredibly big feet size

39. You always find a way to WOW me

40. Your not embarrassed to tell me anything

41. You get so scared when I pick you up or drop you off

42. Your hands get all sweaty when you hold it against mine

43. We both have sweaty hands

44. How you are such a girl and watch Hannah Montana still

45. The smile you give after I am done kissing you

46. The fact that there is nobody else in the world like you and nobody will ever come close

47. You say fine when you're not really fine, cute girl move

48. You always try to win, love the competitiveness

49. The annoying fact that you are right 90+% of the time

50. The amazing new experiences that I’ve shared for the first time with you and only you

51. You don't make fun of me when I am cheesy

52. How you tell me long stories that have no meaning, but you know I'll listen anyway

53. How you don’t mind holding my hand or showing me affection even in public....well sometimes

54. How you would rather hang out with me than your friends, sometimes

55. How open minded you are

56. How you and I have a sort of connection

57. How you always seems to tell me exactly what is on your mind

58. The way you read my mind sometimes

59. How you seem to understand everything I say

60. How much you know about me now and that you’ve seen both my good sides and bad and that you still love me anyway

61. How you have the ability to make me happy even if two seconds ago I was completely miserable

62. The way my heart grows warm every time I see one of her pictures.

63. You don't laugh even when the movie is funny

64. You don't like animated movies anymore

65. You love the Disney princesses

66. You can bake!

67. You use to have a Kobe jersey- HOT!

68. You still have my picture frame up in your room, I think

69. You still have my Prom bear and the pink bear I got for you

70. How when I say I Love you, you say it back

70 reasons why I love you and why I still want to be with you.

71. How easy it was to make this list and how I could’ve kept going on.

I still want to be with you cuz of after all the things we've been through, why throw it all away?

Always and never . . .

Always and never sound bad. It should be always and forever. It actually can be a very good thing. It depends how you say it. I'll always love you and never will it falter. . . or I'll always remember you and never will i forget. Think before you judge something. I'll always trust you if you never lie to me.... can you do that?

Someday. . .

Someday she will feel the same way I do. Everyday I hope and wish that that "someday" will be today. Someday is a good word because it can mean a lot of things. Someday I will be able to show her the love she needs and deserve. Someday she will have the same need for me like i need her. Someday she will be the one trying for me. Someday she will finally sit there and think to herself that i am the one for her, the right guy for her. That "someday" was not today. Maybe it was yesterday. It will definitely be tomorrow. I'll keep waiting for that tomorrow to be today and hope that yesterday was today.

Too Much....

Things you do for a girl. You wait by the phone for them wondering when they’ll text you. Wondering if today would be the day where she’ll actually make the first move and text you good morning. She seems to always text the good night. I guess that’s the way it is. You being eager to start the day and she being eager to end it. There’s also the thing where you make a plan for a girl and found out that she cant go out that day. Guess that was my fault. Should’ve asked her if she was available that day. Guess there’s not enough of her to go around. I had plan to go catch a movie and then go eat at her favorite restaurant, with her of course. Didn’t quite work out on her part. I just wanted to be a little spontaneous. There’s also the no texting when you’re out with her. I ignored my texts while I was hanging out with her. I thought it would be inappropriate for me to be texting. It’s like a sort of insult saying like you’re boring so I rather text my friend. As we were hanging out, she kept reaching into her bag and getting her phone, texting a friend she met at orientation. Well, I guess, that is more quite interesting than hanging out with me. I guess I can try all I want and still be boring. Cant always be fun. =[ She gives me a bracelet she made for me at orientation proving to me that she thought about me at orientation. YES! Finally I did something that implemented me inside her head a little. I wear the bracelet. I wear it even when I go out. Its pretty with pink blue and green glow in the dark beads. I lend her my watch that’s a bit loose on her. She wears it for five seconds and takes it off. I tell her to bring it home and give it back the next time we hang out. She goes okay but I’m pretty sure that when she got home, she threw it on her table or hid it or something. I just wanted to give her something so that she can remember. Then there’s the waiting for the next time you hang out. Sometimes you can get played and mess up your entire schedule. One time, we were suppose to watch a scary movie. I had a four day weekend till school and she had two weeks or so. I was really eager to spend time with her and decided to leave all my four days open so that whatever day she can make time for me, it would work. That didn’t quite work out. She made plans already. Sigh. She tell me that she fell for me but it doesn’t quite seem like it. I trust her but she kind of makes it unconvincing. Why do I do this? Why do I make time for a girl that from my point of view looks like she doesn’t make time for me. I ask that question to myself tonight. Thinking and thinking of why I do this. Why do I wait by the phone? Why do I try to be spontaneous? Why do I ignore my texts? Why do I give her my watch? Why do I make time? I think and hope that the answer is because I am falling for her too. Call me too attached but it’s probably cuz I don’t want to lose her or I want to show her how I’m feeling about her. I guess she’ll never know. It’s not that she’s dumb. I don’t know what else to do. I want to kind of make it a puzzle for her to figure out instead of telling her. I have tried telling her though but I guess she doesn’t believe me or she isn’t confident. Well, all I know is that I tried and that everyday and every night, I’ll still wait for her. Some people might say, why are you doing this? Doing so much for a girl that doesn’t seem to appreciate it at all. Well, I know she will one day. And it doesn’t matter how long or how short, ill sit by that phone and hope that one day, she’ll figure it out and find out that I will be that patient guy. The spontaneous guy. The committed guy. The guy who will always be there for her. Thee right guy.